Posted by: “Hakiki Akbari” hakikiakbari@yahoo.
Is she feeling any better?
- Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
- Nurse: No change yet.
- What should I do then?
- Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
- Doctor: Sell!
Benefits of having Alzheimer’s disease
- 5. You never have to watch reruns on television.
- 4. You are always meeting new people.
- 3. You don’t have to remember the whines and complaints of your spouse.
- 2. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
- 1. Mysteries are always interesting.
The prison hospital
- Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You’ve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
- Doctor: I am, bit by bit. How much will this cost me?
- Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
- Dentist: $100.00.
- Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
- Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
- Would you please do me a favor? A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
- Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
- Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn’t all that bad this time.
- Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don’t want to miss the four o’clock ball game.
- A doctor is complaining to a mechanic A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, “Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care.”
- “Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month.”
Can I play the piano once these are off?
- A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.
- “Doctor,” says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?”
- “I don’t see why not,” replies the doctor.
- “That’s funny,” says the man. “I wasn’t able to play it before.”
Get me an ambulence now A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help.
- Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
- Operator: Okay, sir, you’re an ambulance!
The bad and the worse news A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
- Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
- Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
- Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
- Man: And the bad news?
- Doctor: You have Alzheimer’s disease.
- Man: That’s great. I was afraid I had cancer!