What’s In The Bag?
- Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack.
- When they meet, one says, “Hey, Tommy Ray, what’cha got in th’ bag?”
- “Jus’ some chickens.”
- “If I guess how many there are, can I have one?”
- “I’ll give you both of them.”
- “OK. Ummmmm……, five?”
- The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.”
- The grandmother was curious.
- “What trick is that my dear?” she asked.
- The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.”
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past
- A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.
- The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The seaman asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”
- The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.
- Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.”
“Wow!” said the seaman.
- “What about your hook”?
- “Well”, replied the pirate, “We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords.
- One of the enemy cut my hand off.”
- “Incredible!” remarked the seaman.
- “How did you get the eye patch”? “
- A seagull dropping fell into my eye,” replied the pirate.
- “You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?,” the sailor asked incredulously.
- “Well,” said the pirate, “it was my first day with my hook”
- A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.
- During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone.
- “It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother.
- Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now.
- She’s hitting the bottle.”