joke collection – 213

What We Learn From Watching TV

(joke)

Good guys always win and get the girl.
Good guys only get shot in the arm or leg.
Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.

Police chases usually include a car going through a plate glass window.
Bad guys spend time making elaborate inventions to kill the good guys, but never stick around to see if they actually work.

The police are always smart, and never wait for back-up.
Car wheels screech on any corner, even on dirt.
After being shot, there is always enough time to escape.
Undercover cops are too good to be spotted, especially when wearing dark sunglasses.

Cars usually explode in accidents.
Court cases are usually solved with a surprise witness.
Private detective work is prestigious, glamorous, and pays very well.
Teenagers are always smarter than their parents.
High school students look thirty years old.

All Chinese people know karate.
Everybody wins in Las Vegas.
Women normally wake up in the morning with make-up on.
Nobody has time to watch TV.
You’ll never have trouble finding a parking place if you’re in a hurry.
Fist fights don’t result in bruises.

Housework is never needed, though people sometimes vacuum even though the carpet is already clean.
If a women is running away from someone she will run down the middle of the parking lot or street, and trip and fall.

Your car will always start immediately unless you are being chased by a maniacal killer or a monster.
Haunted houses are never locked.
There are no really ugly women, only really ugly men.
Computers know everything and never crash.
And most amazing of all, rich people are all unhappy!
______________________________________________________________________________
You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life.
No one can take that away from you.
You can do what you want to do. You can be who you want to be.

(joke) ID ten T error

Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her
computer. So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave
clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away,
Judy called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

And he replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

A puzzled expression ran over Judy’s face. “An ID ten T error? What’s
that..in case I need to fix it again??”

He gave her a grin, “Haven’t you heard of an ID ten T error before.”

“No,” replied Judy.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

She wrote: ID10T

 

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