Wong Kam Punk’s Blog

Confused
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”

So Johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. “First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse…” So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

“Ok, now take off my skirt…” and he takes off her skirt. “Now take off my bra…” which he does. “And now, Johnny, please take off my panties.” And when Johnny finishes removing those, she says, “Johnny,PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”

The Golfer’s Accident
A pro golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news.” says the surgeon.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh god no!” cries the man. “My career is over! Please Doc,what’s the good news?”

“The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm! I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant”

“Go for it doc” says the man. “As long as I can play golf again.”

The operation went well and 6 months later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

“Just great” says the business man. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved.”

“That’s great.” said the surgeon

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors”

“Unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a success.”

“Well there is one problem,” said the golfer, “every time I try to masturbate I get a headache!”

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
***********************************************

Indo community

First Day of College
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “How much for a season pass?”

Doctor’s Advice
An 80 year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Oh oh!”

The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well,” said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?”

“No,” replied the man.
“Do you drink in excess?
“No.” replied the man.
“Do you have a sex life?”
“Well, yes, I do!”

“Well,” said the doc, “I’m afraid with this heart murmur, you’ll have to give up half your sex life.”

Looking perplexed, the old man asked, “Which half…the LOOKING or the THINKING?”

Bridal Registry
A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.).

The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens.

The bride said, “No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom.”

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
***********************************************
indo community

Funeral Procession

* A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
* A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first.
* Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking his pitbull on a lead. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in a single file.
* The man couldn’t stand the curiosity.
* He respectfully approached the man walking the dog,
* “I am sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in a single file.
* Whose funeral is it?”

* The man replied, “Well, that first hearse is for my wife.”
* “What happened to her?”
* The man replied, “My pitbull attacked and killed her.”
* He inquired further, “Well, who is in the second hearse?”
* The man answered, “My mother-in-law.
* She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.”

* A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
* “Can I borrow the Dog?” the inquisitive man asks.
* “Get in line.”

PAY BACK

* Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 3:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone.
* “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice.
* Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.
* The next morning at precisely 3:44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back.
* “Good morning, Mr. Williams. ……..
* Just called to say that I don’t have a dog.”

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are
***********************************************

Indo community