Archive for November 5, 2009

joke collection – 165

today’s jokes

  • David received a parrot for his birthday.
  • The parrot was fully-grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
  • Every other word was an expletive.
  • Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, very rude.
  • David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example.
  • Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
  • He shook the bird and the bird just got more angry and became even more rude.
  • Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird squawk and kick and scream.
  • Then suddenly, there was quiet – not a sound for half a minute.
  • David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
  • The parrot calmly stepped out onto David’s extended arm and said: “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
  • 1 will endeavor at once to correct my behaviour. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
  • David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: “May I ask what the chicken did?”

Indo community

Leave a Comment

joke collection – 164

What’d you do that for?

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there’s a snail sitting on the doorstep.

  • “What do you want?” asks the owner.
  • “I want a beer,” says the snail.
  • “First of all, we’re closed, and second of all, we don’t serve snails.
  • So go away!” The snail begs and pleads for a beer. The owner finally gets fed up, kicks the snail, and slams the door.

One year later….
The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and there’s a snail sitting on the doorstep.

“What’d you do that for?” asks the snail.

=====
bye
take care
yenny

Leave a Comment

joke collection – 163

Why should I???

 

  • A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer.
  • The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
  • “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity.
  • Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
  • The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
  • Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um… no.”
  • “-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
  • The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, “-or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,”the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
  • The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”
  • On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: “-so if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?”

=====
bye
take care
yenny

Leave a Comment

Older Posts »