Wong Kam Punk’s Blog

Liverpool

Liverpool were doing dreadful in the premier league so one morning Gerard Houllier pulled his head scout in the office; “I want you to go out and get me the best striker there is” So off went the scout, three weeks had passed and he had travelled all over Europe and America but hadn’t found what he’d been looking for.

As a last result he paid a visit to a small league game in Kosovo. His prayers were answered, in the first half of the match he watched a 16 year old lad take on the whole team five times to score with both feet, a header and a free kick from 40 yards out. The same happened in the second half and the scout decided he was “the one”.

He called Gerrard and explained about this wonderboy to which Gerrard replied “get him, just get him, we’ll set him up in a nice little apartment in Liverpool and pay him well, just get him!!”

This he did and the following Saturday Liverpool were losing 3-0 at Old Trafford at half-time. Houllier decided to send on his new found wonder boy and gave him a run out. Within 20 minutes Liverpool were winning 4-3 and the Kosovian hero had scored all four!!

This went on for the next few games and the whole country loved this guy. He was happy and couldn’t believe how much his life had turned around so he called his mum.

• “Mum, have you heard, I’m a national hero, I’m the top scorer, I’ve got a 5 year contract and I’m earning £70k a week”
• “You selfish bugger” she replied “only yesterday your sister was raped, your father was mugged and shot and the house has been burnt down”
• He replied “but mum, how is all this my fault?”
• “It was you who made us move to Liverpool!”

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