Wong Kam Punk’s Blog

A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot for “parking.” He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light on. He gets closer to the car and sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman on the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and knocks at the window.

• The young man lowers his window… “Yes, officer?”
• “What are you doing?”
• “Well, isn’t it obvious? I’m reading a magazine…”
• Pointing towards the young woman, the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?”
• The young man shrugs: “I believe she’s knitting a pullover…”
• The cop is totally confused. A young couple alone in a car at night and nothing is happening!
• “What’s your age, young man?”
• “I’m 25, sir…”
• “And her, what’s her age?”
• The young man looks at his watch, smiles and says: “She’ll be 18 in 20 minutes…”

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Therapy
A man walked into a therapists office looking very depressed.

• “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I can’t go on like this.”
• “What’s the problem?” the doctor inquired.
• “Well, I’m 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away.”
• “My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person,a fun person and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you’ll have women buzzing all around you.”The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face.

• Did my advice not work?” asked the doctor.
• “It worked alright. For the past several weeks I’ve enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women.”
• “So, what’s your problem?”
• “I don’t have a problem,” the man replied. “My wife does.”

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Things You Won’t See On Hallmark Cards

* OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am…
* INSIDE: That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
* OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas…
* INSIDE: I hope it’s your sister.
* OUTSIDE: I’ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
* INSIDE: After having met you, I’ve changed my mind.
* OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
* INSIDE: I never believed in hell ’til I met you.
* OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…
* INSIDE: What the hell was I thinking?
* OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful and well-respected.
* INSIDE: And while I’m dreaming, I wish you weren’t so damn ugly.
* OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs…
* INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody’s stupid enough to admit it.
* OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you’d die for me.
* INSIDE: Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.
* OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
* INSIDE: Of course, your family won’t be with you, since I’m taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!
* OUTSIDE: I’m so miserable without you…
* INSIDE: It’s almost like you’re here.
* OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend…
* INSIDE: Buy a dog.
* OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
* INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?

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Disappointments are like road humps,
they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.
Don’t stay on the humps too long. Move on!

Indo community

MEN NEVER LISTEN
On a flight to Chicago, a man had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. The flight attendant noticed the his predicament.

“Sir, she said, “You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.”

The man did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW,WA,PP,and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? The man couldn’t resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling,he thought. Men’s restrooms don’t have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button.

A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn’t wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he was in a hospital.

As soon as he opened his eyes a nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. “What happened?!” he exclaimed.
“You pushed one too many buttons,” replied the nurse.
“The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover.
Your penis is under your pillow.”

Old Couple and Doctor
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist’s office.

• The doctor asked,”What can I do for you?”
• The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”
  The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said,
• “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $50.00 This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
• Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?”
• The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare!”

Space Mountain
A seven-year-old little girl was excited when she went to Disney World for the first time. She headed straight for Space Mountain. Her parents were worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted. To her delight, she rode it twice.

The next year the family returned to Magic Kingdom, and the little girl, now eight, again raced to Space Mountain. As they stood in line, though, the little girl was soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride’s speed.

• “Dad,” she said, “I don’t think I want to go.”
• Her dad asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
• She replied, “This year I can read better!”

Payback Time
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off. Written in large black letters was the sentence.
“Get well quick….. from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”

At The Auction
A man bid on an exotic parrot at an auction. He really wanted the parrot, so he continued to bid higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk.

• I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
• The auctioneer replied, “Don’t worry, he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

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Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Indo community

another sept 11 story
Seems this suburban guy left for work on Sept. 11 at about 6:00AM to go to his office in the WTC. When he got to Manhattan he went to his lover’s apartment in the Village, turned his cell phone off, and climbed into bed with her.

At about 10:00AM, while still lying next to her, he turned his cell phone on, and a second later it rang. He answered, and it was his wife who screamed at him, “Where are you? I’ve been trying to call you for an hour.
I’ve been worried sick about you!!!”
So he answered, “Where do you think I am? I’m in my office!!!”
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Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant-leg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth…
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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial–a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he,too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, I’ll put you both in jail for contempt!
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Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
and never let go till we’re gone.

Indo community