Archive for June 10, 2009

IMPORTANT THAN PRESENTS

(thoughtful story) By Fr. Simplicio R. Apalisok, Jr., Shoelaces

A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying. “Don’t worry,I will write you everyday,” he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home. One day, he received a wedding invitation. His girl friend was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boy friend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.

The poor boyfriend surely explained, “What went wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers.” When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the person usually crops up. We say, “I have given you this and that…I have done these things for you.” It seems that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors.

But while presents are important, love demands what is basic: presence of the beloved. I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother. When she’s away for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.

I guess persons all the more require a caring presence. Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs, but strictly speaking, they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter the highest commitment as human beings is spending time with those persons we love.

And since people need affection and nourishment, material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence. Martha was busy with her job. She believed she had to work harder because she loves her father who is sick of cancer. She has to provide for his expensive medicines.

Her brothers and sisters meanwhile stayed with their father most of the time. They bathed him, sang for him, spoon-fed him or simply kept him company. One day Martha was hurt. She overheard her father telling her mother,”All our children love me except Martha.” “How can this be?” Martha thought.

“Am I not the one killing myself in my work to have money to buy for his medicines? My brothers and sisters do not even provide their share in the expenses as much as I do.” One night, as Martha was as usual late in going home, she peeped for the first time in the room where her father was lying. She noticed that her father was still awake. She decided to come close at his bedside.

Her father held her hands and said, “I miss you. I don’t have much time. Stay with me.” And she stayed with her father holding his hand the whole night. The next morning Martha said to everybody, “I have taken a leave of absence. I would like to be with father. I will bathe him and sing for him from now on.” Her father had a beautiful smile. He knew this time Martha loves him. * As children, we need the assuring presence of our loved ones. Adult people need no less. *

Shared by Joe Gatuslao
Philippines

Leave a Comment

BERAPA BANYAK CINTA YANG TERSISA

Aku tak pernah ragu ragu dalam hidupku. Dari awalpun aku sudah tahu, aku akan menikah, ambil kuliah jurusan periklanan di Universitas Minnesota, lalu akan membuka kantor periklananku sendiri. Baru saja selesai kuliah, aku langsung mengecap sukses. Sebentar saja perusahaanku mampu menghasilkan ber-juta2.

Aku membeli sebuah pesawat terbang, sebuah kapal, sebuah Mercedes, juga sebuah mobil limosin besar. Para pelangganku selalu kujamu dengan pesta meriah yang serba wah..wah ..wah.., makan minum berlimpah ditambah acara2 lainnya. Uang yang mengalir kerekening bank aku seakan tak ada hentinya. Segala berjalan begitu lancar sesuai rencana dan aku menikahi Karla.

Kemudian datang bencana menimpa kami – kemajuan bidang computer dengan “cetak desktop” mulai dikenal dan menjadi terkenal. Aku melihat dan mengikuti betapa pelanggan2ku mulai pergi meninggalkanku, mereka membuka situs2 in-house sendiri. Aku mulai kehilangan sumber penghasilan,pada hari yang sial itu aku terpaksa menjual Mercedesku, juga Fiatku.

Amat sakit rasanya, apalagi empat bulan kemudian aku juga masih harus melihat betapa seseorang membawa pergi juga mobil limosinku. Tak lama kemudian aku juga terpaksa harus mencari pembeli bagi pesawat terbang dan, akhirnya, kapalku juga. Dulu, selagi uang begitu mengalir seperti air, Karla dan aku sama2 mengumpulkan begitu banyak barang2, ada yang perlu, banyak juga yang tidak berfaedah.

Sekarang istriku menyarankan agar kami mulai saja berjualan barang bekas diakhir pekan: Garage Sale, garasi daripada kosong kan bisa dimanfaatkan, laipula kami butuh uang. ” Kita kan juga tidak telalu membutuhkan barang2 itu,” ia berkata menghibur…….

Dalam waktu sekejap aku seakan telanjang, segala sesuatu hilang kecuali Karla. Aku mulai membayangkan sebentar lagi ia juga akan ikut menghilang sebab selama ini fokus perhatianku selalu pada uang, tidak pernah pada dirinya. Lalu…, saat kupikir keadaan sudah tidak mungkin jadi lebih parah lagi, ehhh, ternyata malah makin jelek dan buruk!

Selama 6 bulan berikutnya, sebagian besar staff karyawanku berhenti, minggat membawa serta langganan2ku. Istri dan putriku terpaksa dilarikan kerumah sakit, bagian gawat darurat, gara2 tubrukan yang hampir fatal. Ayahku sendiri meninggal kena kanker. Seakan menutup semua rentetan mala petaka itu, wuiih…, rumah kami ditimpa pula kena petir

Aku benar2 merasa seperti seorang Ayub zaman-modern. Betul2 tak mungkin bisa kulupakan hari saat aku pulang dari kantor, merasa dunia sudah kiamat, segalanya sudah berhenti dan habis buat aku….

Aku duduk termenung dimeja dapur, mukaku tertunduk, jatuh dalam pegangan tanganku sendiri. Apa yang tersisa ya cuma tinggal melihat sebentar lagi Karla juga akan pergi……….. Tapi, tidak seperti dugaanku dan berbeda dengan istri Ayub yang berteriak keras, ” Sumpahilah Allah dan matilah kau!”, Karla malah membesarkan hatiku

. Lembut katanya, “Sayang, aku tetap percaya padamu.” “Lagipula, mungkin ini barangkali hal terbaik yang kita alami.” Aku balik menatapnya, heran dan bingung, apa dia sudah sinting…. Tapi itu ternyata benar2 titik balik kehidupan kita. Tahun2 yang kemudian menyusul memang bukti kebenarannya.

Hari ini, Karla dan aku melihat kembali segala kemalangan dan kesengsaraan kami sebagai pengalaman pelajaran yang amat bernilai. Segala kerugian dan kehilangan itu mempererat hubungan kami berdua dan juga makin mendekatkan kami pada Tuhan. Aku buang segala impi dan fantasiku sendiri bisa menguasai dunia.

Dan dengan bantuan dari Karla yang telaten, aku mulai belajar lagi untuk menikmati hal2 yang begitu sederhana dalam hidup – menghirup dan merasakan bau pasta gigi nafas anak2ku disaat mau tidur malam, melihat dan bisa menikmati sekuntum saja bunga yang mekar dikebun kami, dan…..sentuhan tangan istriku yang penuh cinta………

Saat menikah selalu diulang kata2, “… tetap mencintai, didalam keadaan makin kaya maupun makin miskin.” Aku selalu berpikir istilah “makin miskin” begitu menakutkan, sangat mengerikan sekali sebagai hal yang dijanji-setiakan seorang pasangan hidup.

Tapi sekarang ini aku baru mengenal kebenarannya. “Lebih sedikit” sering bisa menjadi “Lebih banyak”. Dan nilai2 sejati seorang suami sesungguhnya bisa diukur – justru saat dan cara terbaiknya – ialah ketika segala sesuatu terambil darinya dan melihat berapa banyak cinta yang masih tersisa….

By Steve Gottry,
Lightning Strikes Twice

Leave a Comment

BY HOW MUCH LOVE REMAINS

(thoughtful story)
I never had any question about what I wanted to do with my life. I would marry, major in advertising at the University of Minnesota, and then open my own ad agency. Right out of college, I tasted success. Soon my company was billing in the millions. I bought an airplane, a boat, a Mercedes, a limo. I entertained my clients at lavish dinners and events. There seemed to be no limit to my bank account. I married Karla. Everything was going according to plan.

Then desktop publishing arrived on the business scene—and disaster struck. I watched many of my clients depart as they opened their own in-house agencies. Slowly I began to lose financial ground… I sold my Mercedes and my Fiat on the same painful day, and four months later I watched as someone drove my limo away.

Soon I was forced to find a buyer for my four-seater airplane and then, at last, my boat. While the money flowed, Karla and I had collected so many things, some useful, others useless. Now my wife recommended that we sell many of these possessions at weekend garage sales to cover our living expenses. “We don’t really need them anyway,” she declared.

It wasn’t long until I was stripped of everything—except Karla. I’d figured soon she’d be disappearing too because most of my focus had been on money and not her. Then, just when I figured things couldn’t get much worse, they did. In the next six months, most of my staff left,taking chunks of the business with them. My wife and daughter were rushed to an emergency room after a near-fatal accident. My father died of cancer. And finally our house was struck by lightning…

I felt like a modern-day Job. I’ll never forget that day I came home from my work feeling everything was at an end. I sat at the kitchen table, my face in my hands. All that remained was for Karla to leave. But unlike Job’s wife who said, “Curse God and die!” Karla encouraged me. “Honey, I believe in you,” she said. “And what’s more, this is probably the best thing that has ever happened to us.” I looked at her as if she had lost her mind. But that was the turning point. The years that followed proved she was right.

Today, Karla and I viewed our past adversities as a valuable learning experience.—not a hard-luck story. All those losses drew us closer together and closer to God. I gave up my fantasy I could actually control the world. And with Karla’s sweet help, I learned all over again how to enjoy simple pleasures in life—the smell of toothpaste on my child’s breath at bedtime, the sight of a single flower in our garden, my wife’s loving touch on my arm.

I always thought that the “poorer” in “for richer or poorer” was something terrible a spouse promised to endure. But now I know the truth. Less is often more. And a husband’s true riches are best measured by how much love remains when everything else is taken away

By Steve Gottry,Lightning Strikes Twice

Leave a Comment

Older Posts »